And the Oscar goes to. . .

I have a love-hate relationship with award shows. It's in that context that I'm writing this.

Last year, 2015, the list of films that were nominated for the Best Picture Oscar were: Birdman, Selma, Whiplash, American Sniper, The Theory of Everything, The Imitation Game, The Grand Budapest Hotel and Boyhood.

I had seen four out of the eight. I would never have gone to see Whiplash or American Sniper. I was iffy about Birdman. And I felt guilty about passing up Selma because it's the kind of movie I find so painful.

I thought I was pretty well covered, however, for the major categories. Boyhood was considered to be the film to beat, the front-runner, and I was feeling confident.

I thought Boyhood was brilliant. I had spent weeks in advance of the Oscars defending it from certain naysayers. There were people who sneered that the 12-years of filming the same actors to tell the story in "real time" was a gimmick.

I even had to defend the movie from one viewer who said she didn't like it at all because she'd rather have seen the story of Mason's sister. I said maybe she'd have to wait for a movie called "Girlhood" — a movie I'd be happy to see but it wasn't this one.

There's a feeling around awards and there's a point where you begin to sense where things are going. Once Alejandro González Iñárritu won the best director's award, I was starting to feel uneasy. I think people there, in the theatre, sensed something happening also.

Sure enough, Iñárritu's movie Birdman won the best film award and I felt very disappointed. I usually don't mind that much; I usually go along quite docilely with whatever the Academy decides but last year, I was still feeling let down the following morning. Boyhood was such a singular accomplishment, a film that can never be duplicated, a one-of-a-kind achievement. It seemed so wrong that it had been passed over.

This year's nominated films are The Big Short, Brooklyn, Bridge of Spies, The Revenant, Spotlight, Mad Max: Fury Road, The Martian and Room. I've seen three of them.

(The stars of The Big Short.)

When I read a review of The Revenant, I ran as fast as I could in the opposite direction. You couldn't pay me to see that movie. But it's Alejandro González Iñárritu again and this year, he's getting all the buzz. He's not the underdog and I predict he'll win best picture, best director, best actor — Leonardo DiCaprio — and probably plenty of others. You can tell when things are moving in a certain way.

Before The Revenant came along, I had chosen a few strong contenders for Oscars.

(Bryan Cranston as Trumbo.)

After we saw Trumbo, I felt sure that Bryan Cranston would win for best actor for his portrayal of the black-listed writer, Dalton Trumbo, during the McCarthy era. We didn't feel the screenplay was strong enough to carry a best picture nomination but the acting truly was phenomenal. I'm pretty sure now that he doesn't have a chance against Leo.

Likewise Spotlight. As we were leaving the theatre after seeing it, I predicted it had a chance for a few awards. Since The Revenant, Spotlight too has slipped a few rungs down the awards ladder.

Finally, my biggest disappointment this year is something I can't blame on The Revenant. Lily Tomlin was passed over for a nomination for her role in Grandma.

It's a tough old business. Sometimes, it's just not your year.

Old enough to know better

Every so often, I resurrect the story of the day I was in Sobey's, looking carefully over the lovely selection of in-store-baked bread, when a store employee came up to me and said kindly, "Do you need any help, dear?"

I'm capable of giving a very withering glare – I know that because I've been told by some people who have been on the receiving end – and I thought about it but I desisted. She was trying to be nice so I was nice back: "Do you mean do I need help choosing my bread?" I asked disingenuously. I think she caught a certain edge in my voice because she smiled a little coolly and told me to let her know if I needed anything.

I come from the Miramichi and I have lots of friends and relatives in Cape Breton so I'm very familiar with the use of the word "dear" as a verbal punctuation mark. But I can tell when the person using it can barely resist patting me on the head at the same time and that's when I take offence.

As you can tell, I'm sensitive to being stereotyped as a dotty old lady. I'm not there yet.

A friend and I have been aware for a few years that if, God forbid, something happens while we're driving, we will – no matter who or what has caused the incident – be referred to as "the elderly driver." "Elderly" drivers are getting younger; I saw one a few days ago who was 68.

There’s a video going around on Facebook that I won’t even open that shows two oldsters shakily dancing together and comments underneath saying many variations of “aww, so cute.” I hate that!

We went to see the movie Grandma earlier this evening. It stars Lily Tomlin and is clearly a "vehicle" for Lily.

We enjoyed the movie – I wasn’t sure if I would. I love and trust Lily but I’m always – see above – a little worried about how older women will be portrayed and whether it will be condescending and there will be people leaving the theatre wishing they could pat her on the head.

It wasn't like that at all. Lily’s character was only a little over-the-top – lots of bad words and hitting (with a hockey stick) an obnoxious teenage boy where it hurts and standing up fearlessly to bullies and other boors. It was fun but it was serious too. I think we would say that once again, Lily has lived up to her real-life persona and in this movie, she was surrounded by an interesting collection of non-stereotypes of all ages.

It came at a good time as I’ve just watched the first two seasons of Last Tango in Halifax and I loved it. In that series, the older couple — in their 70s — are real and multi-dimensional. They are much more than just old. They live real lives with real problems and real pleasures. They can be flirtatious and romantic and they can be impatient and angry.

They don’t talk about their ailments at all – except when it’s appropriate. And they're no more forgetful than their 45-year-old children!

TV or not TV

I don’t watch television the way some people do – that is, tucked up on the couch, feet up, snacks at hand, ready to watch the show from beginning to end. I used to, of course, because that was the only way there was to watch TV. I remember it being quite stressful.

You’d settle in to watch, let’s say, a pivotal episode of one of my all-time favourite shows, Brideshead Revisited. You just knew that as soon as you’re absorbed in it, the phone will ring. Or someone will knock on the door. Or – God forbid – there’s some kind of emergency and the news team interrupts your broadcast.

No, no. Much better to have some control over what you’re watching. The VCR started us on the road to be able to pick and choose what we watch and change keeps happening. No going back!

We have a big TV in the living room. The truth is, William uses that TV with the PlayStation and it’s rarely used for anything else. There’s a small TV in the kitchen which I can see from my computer chair (I can see the big TV too) and on rare occasions, we’ll have both on – maybe for a big game or election returns or the Oscars.

We eat late so it's usually early-to-mid evening when I go to the kitchen to start meal prep. I turn the little TV on to one re-run or another. I can’t see the screen from where I’m working so a re-run is just what I need. I know everything that’s going to happen! As TV is visual, there are times when no one is talking but there’s a lot of laughter and I may have to take a few steps over so I can see what’s going on. That’s okay though.

I leave the little TV on all evening, usually at a low volume, just for background and the occasional laugh.

But my real TV watching has shifted to morning. I watch Netflix, first for a little while before I get out of bed, then while I’m moving around getting ready for the day. I love the small tablet I watch on; I enjoy the intimacy.

Depending on my position and what else is going on, I might use ear-phones. There’s something about it that reminds me of the very first transistor radio I had when I was a teen, lying in bed, listening to music that only I could hear.

I also watch programs on my tablet while I’m walking on the treadmill. I tried reading books on the treadmill but I found it difficult. Too much up and down.

I’m not at all a binge-watcher. I’m fairly moderate and although I might watch every day, it probably only amounts to a couple of hours – out of 24. I often watch in fairly small increments but that's what makes it so satisfying to be in control. I watch when it suits me.

Broadchurch

In no particular order, here are some of the dramatic series I’ve watched: Damages (an American legal thriller television series starring Glenn Close); House of Cards (US) (an American political drama television series, an adaptation of the BBC's mini-series of the same name); The Politician’s Husband (a political drama series about a marriage between two politicians, and what happens when the wife's career starts to overshadow her husband's); House of Cards (UK) (a British political thriller television drama serial in four episodes, set after the end of Margaret Thatcher's tenure as Prime Minister); Bloodline (a dramatic thriller that explores the demons lurking beneath the surface of a contemporary American family in the Florida Keys); Downton Abbey (I don’t have to tell you); Call the Midwife (a view into the colourful world of midwifery and family life in London's East End during the 1950s); The Good Wife (an American television legal and political drama); Broadchurch (a British television crime drama); Silk (a British series about life at the Bar, the dilemmas and problems that modern day barristers have to face, and what it means to become a silk.)

I liked all these series but my absolute favourite was Call the Midwife. I liked it so much better than (sacrilege warning!) Downton Abbey. I found the lives of the midwives and the people they interacted with so much more significant and important than the nobles of Downton Abbey. I also found it to be better TV. Downton Abbey, in my view, was quite predictable and structured according to a formula and never managed to live up to its TV ancestors, e.g. The Forsyte Saga or Upstairs, Downstairs.

I also watched comedy: Episodes (a show about a British husband-and-wife comedy writing team who travel to Hollywood to remake their successful British TV series, with disastrous results); The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (a show about Kimmy who was rescued after 15 years in a cult and decides to reclaim her life by venturing to New York, where she experiences everyday life with wide-eyed enthusiasm); Grace and Frankie (their lives are turned upside down when they learn that their husbands have fallen in love with each other and want to get married. Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin.)

I found Episodes hilarious with so many believable premises and such appealing characters. I recommend it.

And then there was Mad Men – but that’s a whole other story for another time.