Doris, you knew that couldn't end well: a film observation

When we came out of the movie Hello My Name Is Doris I told Dan I was a little disappointed in it. What I didn't tell him is that I had spent the first 40-50 minutes feeling — I don't know, embarrassed, I guess — and hoping there was going to be some kind of interesting and amazing twist to get me out of there.

Well, there wasn't so I had to think my way through it and finally come to a conclusion that explains the problem I have with it.

To start with, the problem is not Sally Field. I love Sally Field and she's a great actress.

She plays Doris.

It wasn't the way Doris dressed.

Sally Field as Doris

I've had too many conversations over too many years with people who talk about "dressing your age." Dress however you please! Dress in whatever makes you feel comfortable — or if you're not comfortable and you just like the way you look, dress like that! Don't listen to anyone who wants to tell you how to dress!

Doris' style is very individual and I can't even imagine her in stuffy little suits or housedresses.

Doris lived with her mother all her life in an over-stuffed/cluttered Staten Island House. She takes the ferry and two subways to her job in Manhattan where she works in a cubicle in an office with a collection of good-looking young people. Early in the movie, her mother passes away and Doris has to deal with her brother and a hostile sister-in-law about estate matters and with a therapist who specializes in "hoarders."

The main plot-line though involves Doris and John, a new co-worker.

When I was telling Dan how I felt the movie had gone wrong, I believed it to be the age difference between Doris and John that made me uncomfortable. Doris is pushing 70; they never say how old John is although I read in a couple of reviews that he's 35. He looks more like 27 to me.

Doris and John

Doris is very attracted to John. She misreads a couple of his signals and believes he feels the same way about her. She actively and blatantly pursues him with the help of the 13-year-old granddaughter of her best friend who helps her set up a fake Facebook account to stalk him and helps her understand certain millennial lingo. (I'm describing the movie accurately but somehow, it sounds worse than it really was.)

I don't know, I said to Dan later. Maybe if he were a little older — say in his 40s — I wouldn't feel that it's all a little inappropriate.

But after thinking about it some more, I realized I was wrong. I wasn't wrong about how the movie handled it; I was wrong about what the problem was.

There was nothing wrong with the way Doris was feeling. Of course she was attracted to John. Look at him!

Max Greenfield as John

He's kind and sweet and funny. He's handsome — on my Jon-Hamm-handsome-o-metre, he's right up there, in the eight or nine bracket.

Doris being attracted to John — physically, sexually — was perfectly natural. I enjoyed thinking about that; I was glad the movie acknowledged her feelings so frankly.

I did not, however, enjoy the boy-crazy, manipulative way she pursued him. You knew that couldn't end well. I think it would have been a better movie if it had dealt honestly — and bawdily — with the sexy way she was feeling, with her fantasies, with exchanging confidences with her best friend. But clearly, the source of my discomfort was that she was setting herself up to be humiliated and I really didn't want to be a witness to that.

Having said all that, there were a lot of good moments in the film. I'm glad to see a really good role for Sally Field — as I was for Lily Tomlin in Grandma. All the supporting actors were great. Tyne Daly, for example, can do no wrong.

Tyne Daly as Roz with Doris

An interesting fact: This movie was made in three weeks for $1 million. There should be an award for that.

Michael Caine: Still at the top of his game

I have never walked away from a Michael Caine film and not said, "My, he's a splendid actor." He's been in a lot of movies and I've seen many of them — too many to remember and to name. He's been in good, mediocre and bad movies and people make jokes about his choices and how he's never turned down a role.

It may be that he plays on that. I read a good little story about him recently. He said someone asked him how he chooses his parts and he said, "When they give me a script, I look at the first page and the last page. If my character is on both pages, I accept the part."

I loved Educating Rita. It's one of the movies I go back and watch every so often. I looked it up recently and was surprised to see that it came out in 1983. 1983! It's aged well.

Julie Walters and Michael Caine in Educating Rita. (I saw Julie Walters just a couple of weeks ago in Brooklyn.)

Today, I saw Michael Caine in Youth. Also Harvey Keitel, Rachel Weisz, Paul Dano with a cameo by Jane Fonda. I don't want to tell you too much about it about it because maybe you'll go see it. I will say that, on leaving the theatre, I said my usual thing about Michael Caine's acting and I also said, "This film should win all the awards."

I'll tell you this much:

Septuagenarian best friends Fred Ballinger and Mick Boyle are on vacation in the Swiss Alps, staying at a luxury resort. Fred is a retired composer of classical music; at the hotel, he is approached by an emissary for Queen Elizabeth II to perform his popular piece "Simple Songs" at Prince Philip's birthday concert. Fred turns down the offer, claiming he is not interested in performing anymore – although he still composes pieces in his head when alone.

Mick is a filmmaker, and is working with a group of writers to develop the screenplay for his latest film, which he calls his "testament". Also with them is actor Jimmy Tree, who is researching for an upcoming role and frustrated that he is only remembered for his role as a robot. The hotel is inhabited by other quirky individuals, including a young masseuse, an overweight Maradona, and Miss Universe.

Michael Caine and Harvey Keitel

I was interested to read that a theatre-full of critics saw it in Cannes last May and when it was over, half the theatre boo-ed and the other half bravo-ed. I suppose there's no accounting for taste. I would have been in the cheering section. I can't even imagine what people found to boo about.

The scenery was beyond spectacular and I say that even though I don't like mountains. And Jane Fonda, known most recently for her vocation in non-aging, showed her age — and then some — playing a part that gained her some award nominations and lots of critical acclaim.

Michael Caine has won two Oscars, both in the supporting actor category. I hope he lives many more years and plays many more parts and I hope he'll win an Academy Award for Best Actor. I'll be cheering him on.

Old enough to know better

Every so often, I resurrect the story of the day I was in Sobey's, looking carefully over the lovely selection of in-store-baked bread, when a store employee came up to me and said kindly, "Do you need any help, dear?"

I'm capable of giving a very withering glare – I know that because I've been told by some people who have been on the receiving end – and I thought about it but I desisted. She was trying to be nice so I was nice back: "Do you mean do I need help choosing my bread?" I asked disingenuously. I think she caught a certain edge in my voice because she smiled a little coolly and told me to let her know if I needed anything.

I come from the Miramichi and I have lots of friends and relatives in Cape Breton so I'm very familiar with the use of the word "dear" as a verbal punctuation mark. But I can tell when the person using it can barely resist patting me on the head at the same time and that's when I take offence.

As you can tell, I'm sensitive to being stereotyped as a dotty old lady. I'm not there yet.

A friend and I have been aware for a few years that if, God forbid, something happens while we're driving, we will – no matter who or what has caused the incident – be referred to as "the elderly driver." "Elderly" drivers are getting younger; I saw one a few days ago who was 68.

There’s a video going around on Facebook that I won’t even open that shows two oldsters shakily dancing together and comments underneath saying many variations of “aww, so cute.” I hate that!

We went to see the movie Grandma earlier this evening. It stars Lily Tomlin and is clearly a "vehicle" for Lily.

We enjoyed the movie – I wasn’t sure if I would. I love and trust Lily but I’m always – see above – a little worried about how older women will be portrayed and whether it will be condescending and there will be people leaving the theatre wishing they could pat her on the head.

It wasn't like that at all. Lily’s character was only a little over-the-top – lots of bad words and hitting (with a hockey stick) an obnoxious teenage boy where it hurts and standing up fearlessly to bullies and other boors. It was fun but it was serious too. I think we would say that once again, Lily has lived up to her real-life persona and in this movie, she was surrounded by an interesting collection of non-stereotypes of all ages.

It came at a good time as I’ve just watched the first two seasons of Last Tango in Halifax and I loved it. In that series, the older couple — in their 70s — are real and multi-dimensional. They are much more than just old. They live real lives with real problems and real pleasures. They can be flirtatious and romantic and they can be impatient and angry.

They don’t talk about their ailments at all – except when it’s appropriate. And they're no more forgetful than their 45-year-old children!